Who I Was & Who I Am

I’m just dwelling on things as my 2 month old (😭 omg because how did he become 2 months old already) naps for the 3rd time today.

I saw someone post a picture on Facebook that read, “I was made to be your mom.”

It’s a sweet sentiment, I’ll admit. But then it got me thinking.

I was blessed to be my little Evvy’s mama, I wholeheartedly believe. I believe God knew just where my life was going to take me, and knew I needed Ev before I knew I did.

But I don’t believe I was made only to be someone’s mother.

Don’t freak out on me or get me wrong, here. I love being his mama. I enjoy my nights that contain a lot less sleep than before, I cherish sleepy baby snuggles, I adore his little talks. I don’t think there’s a woman on earth who could be a better mother to him than I am, because he’s mine. I grew him for 40 weeks (and 2 days 😂), I’m the one who breastfeeds him at 2 am, he has my nose and eyebrows and I love him to bits.

Before Ev, I was someone’s wife. I was also someone who blogged a bit more frequently, went to the gym more frequently (at all, currently), cooked actual meals, and did her hair and makeup.

Before that, I was someone who worked two jobs, moved cross country, laid on beaches, and slept later than 9 am.

Who am I now?

Well, I guess that’s a loaded question. Right now, I’m a mom and not much else because he’s so dependent. I mean, heck, I took my first shower without my baby since my husband deployed when I got to my mom’s house.

So yes, I’m someone’s mom. My day revolves around what my child wants/needs because, well, they’re only little once.

I’m someone’s wife, too, but when you’re across the world from each other, sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. You get used to doing everything by yourself and for yourself.

Right now, I’m someone who reads books to keep herself awake during a midnight nursing session. I’m someone who treasures nap time because it means getting laundry done. I’m someone who runs on way more coffee than she used to, and goes to the gym way less. I sleep less, write less, cry more, pray more, and want less.

I wasn’t made to be someone’s wife. I wasn’t made to be someone’s mother. I was simply made to be who I am, which extends to being a wife and mother. While I love the roles I fill, I’d like to think my worth extends beyond them.

XOXO,

Em.

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